Happiness is often thought of as something we spend time searching for. As if there is one thing that holds the key to lifelong happiness. Some of us think it’s the right person or the right job, but what if I told you the answer is much simpler. What if you don’t have to search endlessly for that one thing to be happy? What if I told you the only thing you will ever need to be happy, is you?
What is Happiness?
While happiness has many different definitions, it is most often described as an emotional state brought on by joy. It can further be described as when good things happen in a specific moment, or a positive evaluation of one’s life and accomplishments overall.
Although happiness certainly can be brought on by enjoyable people, things, and events, it goes beyond that. True happiness is more of a state of being. There are events, people and things that can bring us feelings of joy but happiness, in the sense of fulfillment and overall contentment, is brought about by a state of being. It is through a person’s intentions, actions and perspective that you find true happiness.
Where Can I Find Me Some Happiness?
Many of us have gone through life thinking we need to “find” happiness. We think it is something we need to search for as if it comes from, someone or something, out there in the world. We seem to think all we need to do is to find that one rare thing and “poof” complete happiness. Fortunately, that is not the case. We do not have to rely on anyone or anything outside of ourselves to be happy. We do not have to wait to find the key to happiness…we are the key! Nothing is stopping us from figuring out how to create the happiness we want right now. That is if we accept the fact that we are the key to our own happiness.
You Mean It Is Not Up To Someone Else?
Because the answer lies in us to create our own happiness, it takes some accountability. Our brains are powerful machines and incredibly sneaky at times. We must watch ourselves to be sure we are not looking to others to make us happy. This is often done so we don’t have to do the heavy lifting in the beginning. It becomes someone else’s responsibility because it is easier to blame them if or when we are not happy. It becomes the other person's problem, and we believe they should have to sort it out and fix it. This makes it possible for us to avoid having to dig deep and figure out why we do not think we are worth the effort and the time to create our own happiness. For some of us we place the responsibility on others because we use it as validation. If the other person does things to make us feel happy, we believe it shows they love us or that we have worth. This is not a healthy way of being and is often more prevalent in those of us who have experienced some form of trauma. To fix this, the first step is to realize and admit, you are the key to your own happiness.
How Do I Create My Own Happiness?
To experience happiness, we need to understand it is a state of being. It occurs when we love and care for ourselves, know and live our purpose and are open, accepting and kind to others and the world around us. It is about who WE are and how we show up in our lives. The first step is to get a deeper understanding of who we are. We need to understand ourselves, so we become aware of our tendency to give away our power or try to blame others for us not “feeling” happy. The second step is to identify why we do what we do. This is to understand our behaviors and make changes to the ones that are not working for us, a.k .a. not bringing happiness. The third and final step is to know what our life goals are or our life’s purpose. We need to create time and space for things we enjoy or that feed our purpose. Once we have a better understanding of who we are and what our goals are, we can begin making time for opportunities that align with our purpose/goals. This is where you will find your true happiness.
Download our free resource: A How to Guide to True Happiness.